The hands-free cell phone law that kicked into effect on July 1, 2008 has had a dramatic impact on my driving experience. It has been more of a nuisance than anything else. Talking on the phone while driving has allowed me to ignore the frustrations of driving among idiots. It is an avenue to ignore some of the moronic drivers that brings out the road rage in some of us. Anyway, I have been resistant to the changes in the law. I refuse to spend $40 on a Bluetooth device that claims a talk time of 8 hours, but in reality is less than that. The frustration of having to buy batteries to replenish my talking needs was too much to handle. In an effort to save money on having to buy the Bluetooth device, along with the endless batteries, I found a cheaper alternative in satisfying my talking needs. I developed this technique utilizing the knowledge and skills obtained from years of schooling, and surprisingly the gym. I call my invention the headband talker.

Without inhibition you too can utilize this technique. I have included pictures of my technique for demonstration purposes, because I feel that the idea can be better conveyed through images. Without further ado, here are the instructions. First, take a look around yourself to make sure no one is watching when you enter your car. It is better to park far away from any building structure to ensure that no one is parked next to you. After checking to make sure you are in the clear, stretch your headband over your head and wear it as you normally would when exercising at the gym (doesn’t everyone wear one at the gym?). Next, cock one side (your preference) of the headband down towards your ear. After getting a comfortable fit slide your cellphone between your head and the headband. Finally, make sure the fit is snug to avoid having your phone slide off during the drive. Talk away.